When you come to class you will note that we bow a lot. At the beginning of class, the ranking student calls out “shomen ni rei!” (bow to the shomen, the front of the dojo where the calligraphy usually sits.) That is followed by “sensei ni rei!” (bow to the instructor). At the end of class, the whole ceremony repeats–with an added phrase (otagai ne rei–bow to one another.) We also bow to each other during practice, before and after we train with each partner. So, lots of bowing going on.
Because of the way we use those phrases and the fact that many of us don’t speak Japanese, a lot of Americans assume that rei means “to bow.” I also notice that a lot of people, when pressed, have an idea that translation between languages isn’t always simple. This is one of those cases.
In the About section of this website, I use the phrase “Budo* begins and ends with rei (respect/courtesy/gratitude).” Rei has all of those meanings–and more. I don’t want to get into breaking down the kanji character (礼) here–if you are interested, here is a great intro on that subject.
Rei is definitely not just the practice of bowing. It is also definitely not just showing courtesy and respect. I think of rei as courtesy and respect that comes out of deep gratitude. The bow is the formal way that we show that gratitude during practice. There are a few implications of this.
First, when we are in class I hope everyone enjoys themselves, learns things, develops their own practice, and such. And, while doing that, it is important not to rush the bow. Our training partners are letting us use their bodies, minds, emotions, and spirits as training tools. What a gift! The bow before practice is where you begin the process of gaining active consent for what you are about to do (both as uke and as nage.) The bow afterwards is where you pause to say thank you.
Second; it is relatively easy to follow the gratitude idea above when things are going well. Sometimes, though, either we just aren’t feeling it (for whatever reason) or we are partnered with someone in class who may be too rough, too gentle, or otherwise inspiring our own frustration. During those times, communication is good. And, it is always OK to bow off the mat for a few minutes to re-center yourself. Rei also means taking care of and with one another–and ourselves–in the dojo and beyond. As Linda Holliday says:
“In Aikido training, we learn from everyone. We learn from the most experience people, but we also learn from new students. Everyone is connected through the heart and develops a mutual understanding. It is important to create a place where that can happen.”
Linda Holliday, Journey to the Heart of Aikido
Last, the dojo is a controlled space. Outside the dojo we are confronted with many unplanned scenarios. O’Sensei is quoted as saying:
If your heart is large enough to envelop your adversaries, you can see right through them and avoid their attacks. And once you envelop them, you will be able to guide them along the path indicated to you by heaven and earth.
Morehei Ueshiba
Approaching other people and situations with a sense of gratitude is a challenge for all of us–probably a lifetime challenge, at least for me. Every conflict outside the dojo is an opportunity to train. I am not encouraging you to apply koshinage on your landlord! But we can practice centering, extending, and finding our balance. When we fall we can practice landing as safely as possible and getting back up again. And, at the end of the day, maybe we can find that sense of rei even off the mat.
*Budo is another one of those words. I’ll post on that later. For now, call it “the path of the warrior.”